Officially over it?

Holy fudge, I liked you?
It seems like a joke now. I don't feel much now, I guess I'm over it.
There's still the sadness within me, but it will heal. 
Life is full of surprises. I can't help but to laugh at its mystery.
*urgh my elbow still hurts, and now my wrist hurts*
(whoops, inserted random outburst)
Hmm, I guess I would like to say
"Thank You for entering my life, for being my friend, a person I never thought of thinking about and making me understand more about myself that I should take control of." 
I just hope that I won't lose you as my friend.

Summer, you are weird!

It's finally Summer! But what's with this rainy weather we're getting?
What's been happening with me lately? Not much I guess, my group's event we planned for months went well. I am pleased to say we worked our hardest to achieve our goal successfully. And then basically after that finalising documents/reports and last assessments for college (I think I've gone bonkers with the amount of work given). 
Right now, it's holiday break. YAY!! I won't be back for college till 7th February. 
That person, who shall not be named, did not wish me a happy birthday. *sigh* Ah wells~ I expected it, but it's nice to receive a message (that is if they care enough for you to wish a bit ya know?). Whatever, it was such a depressive birthday anyways (it was soo depressive, it rained in the afternoon haha). I am now 19!!! Tash told me I have until my 20th birthday to get my first -chu- (blerrgh, I don't even want to say it). Yeah I soo could find a guy. Just let me sit in the corner in darkness!!! 
What else? I've been pondering more than often. I should really write down some of the points I've thought about lately. One of them is giving up. Meh, don't care about it right now.
A new year is increasingly approaching. I hope that this new year, I will try my best to be positive, optimistic and HAPPY! I need to take good care of myself, especially what's within me. 
"Nothing's gonna change my world"

This is BULLSHIT!

Why do I hate you soo much?:

1. You break promises.

2. You confuse me.

3. I thought you were a nice guy. You have been harsh lately.

4. You're acting different towards me when meeting in person. What happened when we first met?

5. You don't take the first initiative to talk to me first.

6. Why do you not try to talk to me when you're not talking to someone else?

7. Why do I feel that you're trying to get away from me? Did I do something wrong?

8. You had the chance to sit with me.

9. You walked past me as if I wasn't there.

10. You walked-away and didn't for a second thought to hang with me.

11. I thought you were my friend. What kind of friend leave you hanging?

12. You make me sad, disappointed, and angry.

Memang benci kau

Kau ingat kau superstar ke?? Kau ingat kau boleh ambil hati saya??
Sick of this bullshit already.
Benci lelaki ni ish!!
Menyusahkan!!
Menyempah!!!


Why bother anymore? I hate this "game".

1 week to go...

Well dang. There's one week left till I go to the After Party volunteering thing. Am I excited? Sure yeah. Huh this sucks. I don't know what to talk about. Let's see. I'll put it in numbered points:
1. Started playing 21 questions with Gstar (It's amazing how you get to know someone by asking such simple questions)
2. Started taking care of myself "better"
3. I haven't spoken to Aniki in a while. Just received his message, how joyful!! YAY! I miss him oh soo much!!
4. There's 2 weeks left till my group event. Aaarrrgghhhhhhh!!
5. I don't want to wear shitty girly clothes to the after party restaurant thing. But I need to try something new don't I?

It's been 3 years since I last saw you...

She was a delicate fragile person. 
She looked after me when I was a baby and when my mum worked.
She used to tell scary doll story to my cousins and I. 
She had the most sweetest smile.


*cries*


I miss you Arwah Atok (Grandmother).
I knew there was something wrong when we had the Raya webcam chat.
You looked sad. 
Why did you have to leave us so soon?
That time, I had 2 months left before I could visit you.
But you left us too soon.
I really do love you dearly.
I wished you were treated with respect and looked after like a Queen.
You deserved the BEST.


*can't control the stream of tears*


I hope you're happy there.
No pain.
Just pure Laughters and Joyfulness.

RAGE

Welcome back to the Last Term of College.

Everything is going downfall.

My group will have to pick up all the broken pieces and work harder than before.

Stress Stress Stress.

Complications Complications Complications.

3 more weeks till DOOMSDAY! 

7 more weeks till FREEDOM!

41 days till the last year of my Angst TEENAGE YEARS.

You piss me off too.

With your mixed signals.

What are you trying to tell me?

Enough of this childish games.

MAN the FUDGE UP!

I hate you for making me over-think for 3 hours straight. (I might add this again in another post)

I'm sick of the world now.

I hate the way I am.

This shitty word "VULNERABLE".

WEAK

Why am I such a weakling?
I promised myself to go on Hiatus and what did I do?
I cracked!
I had to reply, why? Because I had to.
I felt it would be rude to not reply.
Did I really?
I thought I needed a breather. Well okay, 2 days was enough.
But I challenged myself last time and exceed to 4 days.
Why couldn't I do it this time?
Maybe I should not have watched "10 things I hate about you" at a time like this.
I'm such a loser. 
Is Karma getting back at me?
*sigh*

HIATUS

Finally I've decided to go on HIATUS.
This is a DEFINITE decision.
There's no going back now.
I realised that there are many things that I've yet to accomplish, and not to solely have this social forum site rule my life.
As well as to NOT have this GUY to constantly pop into my head.
I'm sorry Gstar, but I really do need to get back on track.
This addiction? of wanting to talk to you is getting old.
I found it funny that you were on the forum yesterday so many times (6x), were you waiting for me to reply back? 
It doesn't seem like you.
Why do you have to be so freaking cute??!!
Mind you, I still like you.
The little beauty arrived, never realised it was really small.
Right now, I just need a breather.

I bid you a good week my bright shiny STAR. Till we speak again~

INFATUATION

This word got me thinking.
It is "Love of Emotion".
By golly, I just found out what I needed to know.
But then again, I reckon this infatuation somehow triggered towards LOVE.
Hmm, I'm not too sure.
Another thing on my mind: "Love at first sight".
I still don't know what's the explanation for that.
I have a slight idea, but what exactly is it?
Whatever the reason are for my so-called FEELINGS.
I'll just laugh at it.

Leave me alone for a sec.

Sometimes I just wish that life wasn't as hard as it is now.
Everyday is like a new challenge. 

Sometimes I just don't want to be bombarded with other complications and situations.

It makes me reflect my own life and just fudging make me DEPRESS!

I'm going to take it easy.
Singing and listening to music is actually a good way of making me calm.
No stress. No stress.
I can't be bothered with replying now.
I'll take my time when I feel like it. 

Note #10

Slipped at the bath tub,
Hit my knee.
Pain oh pain.
This was 2 hours ago.

Note #9

Scratched arm.

Broken-heart songs.

Late night crying.

Memory flooded in.
Regrets over regrets.

Hmmph, just another day/night for a girl.

Note #8

Need to distract myself somehow. 
Stupid Life. 
Stupid Crush. 
Stupid Reality. 
The truth hurts.


Time to give up now.

I fall badly

I had a conversation on the phone yesterday night with my good buddy who's in Korea right now and she asked me what's happening with me and my crush. I don't think it's going nowhere since I don't know what's going on now, there's mixed signal I can't comprehend with. But I couldn't help it but to laugh at her for asking me about it. She said "Woah, you really are falling hahaha, good job Amy". My friends and their mums (Can you believe that? Hahaha) kept pestering me when I'll get a boyfriend. Well sorrrryyy for being such a loser for not being able to attract the opposite gender!! I am trying really hard to find one ohkay? Urgh! Is there something wrong with me? This is lame! 


Love is such a complicated thing isn't it?


Will this crush be the same as the past ones? Will I fall happily? Will it cause my heart pain again? 


Only fate will know. 

Smile

My mum caught me smiling. 
I didn't realise I was smiling whilst I was reading the post on my phone.
I had to hide any trace of smiles.
It's really hard not to smile.
The messages made my day.


^__^

Note #7

Lines line line 1 line 2 line 3 line 4 line
Scratch scratch scratch......
Smiling Smiling Smiling
Grinning Grinning
Trembling

Note #6

Worst DAY EVER!
I got sunburnt (my fault really =.=, shouldn't have worn ALL BLACK on a sunny day)
Totally got ignored by "that" person T-T


I have a feeling I should go on hiatus for le forum
*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

Note #5

ILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOUILIKEYOU!!!

Note #4

Dear friend, 
I bid you a safe trip;
till we meet again.

Goodbyes are not forever....

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.  ~Flavia Weedn,Forever, © Flavia.com

Take me back to the start...

I need a new start.
I need to change.
Throw all the old clothes.
Get a new style.
Re-invent myself.
I wouldn't change myself for anyone.
Overcome my fears.
Stop myself from being a wallflower.
Find my wonderwall.
Cherish my past,
But store it away within me.
Be thankful for each living day.
Happiness will come my way.
Maybe there will be a time,
When I finally smile sincerely.
My triumph.


"One day" I whisper under my breath.....




Yours truly,
Ami 

Drown yourself in music

What do you want from me? 
         Just let me breathe a little. ♫


You think you know me and 
         everything you consider me.
                     You think you know my name. ♫

I'm really confused right now. Everyone I know is crying, crying, crying. What about me? Am I crying?
It's hard to live in this reality. Just one time, could we escape into our fantasy?

Oh June! Oh Winter!

I'm FREEZING! Antarctica's wind has drastically blown up North to Aussie-land. Not good! I can't study or do anything during cold seasons. If only you could hibernate :P


So my trip to Malaysia was really great (too bad it was only for a week, I miss my FAMILY and FRIENDS there T-T), but I didn't get to lepak/hang out with Eva-sama and Wicca-chan together. Eva-sama had to leave MK for uni and Wicca didn't come to MK until days later. One thing for sure I'm glad is to have the pleasure to meet them shortly.


Met Eva at my cousin's Akad Nikah, thank goodness she lives close-by, only a few streets away (I forgot to take pictures with her, it's a good thing my cousin's photographer got me in the background, here are cropped out pics of Eva and I):

I was supposed to meet Wicca-chan on Thursday 2nd June but I didn't know we were going out in the afternoon as well, cos Wicca was around MK. (I'm sorry for the lack of communication, I should have bought a MY sim card >"<). Here are pics of Wicca and I:

(It's blurry cos I wasn't stabled with my phone and eww I gained soo much weight now..urgh!)

Stress is overrated!

I am officially SCREWED! I have a business report due this Monday... and I'm confused on what to write. I have the notes ready and all, but I've never written a "business report"... Yeah I've written essays.. still not my strongest point.. I just hate it that my teacher didn't really exactly did an overview of how it works, it's as if we know our ways on how to write and what to write.. The template is not really a big deal, trying to write information and "your own opinions" is just blatantly ANNOYING!

I'm trying to finish typing up my notes for my Monday afternoon quiz. I hope by reading these notes, I will try to incorporate it into my report.. which I'm suppose to anyways.

Yet, I'm in front of my laptop typing my blog, wouldn't that classify as "PROCRASTINATING?"
I've been on youtube, read blogs/reviews, listened to music, randomly looking at pictures and reading things, wasting my time, when I should do the most important thing. I'm considered as the worst person to study or do assessments. I don't know why and how I've turned like that, but I need to stop. Maybe I should consider reading on how to improve writing and expand my vocabulary/knowledge when I'm not busy with anything.

I must try to take initiative with STUDYING and hopefully get used to it. Gosh I hate the sound of that.

Well, goodnight/morning... Back to my NOTES.. grrrrrrr >"<

End of April.

I'm on my Easter Break now.. Shouldn't I start posting on my blog more often? I should. I see random blogs and they are bothered to post huh?.. Does that sentence even make sense?. I don't know!! Hurrrrr~~~ I have 2 assessments due and a quiz during this week and the next. And that's all I have in my mind? 1 is nearly finished and the other only a heading. I still haven't even started writing my notes to study.. Wahhh T-T!..

Good news on the side:
- Going back to Malaysia in late May.

- ^Why? Cousin's wedding (I'm one of the bridesmaid)

- I notified Eva-sama and Wicca-chan that I'm coming back. LEPAK TIME!! Woo!

Blah:
- I'm wearing pinkish-purple for the wedding. (You don't often see me wearing that nowadays, just BLACK!)

- I need to bring one of my cousin to come along and lepak dengan kawan2 I..ceyh thanks Ma.

- My blog needs to be revamped? (It looks boring now)

- ASSESSMENTS + QUIZZES! 

- COLLEGE starting this Wednesday!

- Being broke. I need money. T-T

Note #3

I AM SOCIALLY AWKWARD!

Note #2

Went to Melbourne early Feb.
FINALLY!!~
Too much walking. >"<
I finally ate food from "Lord of the fries".
Vegetarian Burger Joint.
Ohh soo good! *drools* (Only in Melbourne).
-picture in hiatus-
1 H4T3 M3! 
College is a bummer. <_<
Forever Alone!

OTAKU no OTAKU!

Oh my! I've been sucked into the portal of GAMES!!!! This is not good, I'd become an otaku..or some sort.. I've been one, well kind of.... games, manga, anime... that was my life...well also including music..haahahahha...
And now, I'm playing lots of RPG games... (Role-playing)... something about playing as characters is so intriguing.. Don't you think?... This is my friend's doing... She is more of a PC game freak than I am (She plays Starcraft and those other Korean games) ... I was more into the PS2 games... But, actually it feels good to play games on PC again... I miss all those action, adventure, racing (not so fantasy, but I can't handle it....maybe), RPG... hmmm, I can't believe I forgot I used to play runescape... I need to buy C.O.D!! (Too many people kept mentioning it on facebook...grrr) ..as well as Battlefield and Assassin's Creed .hehe (OOoo I forgot about The Sims 3).... I wonder if Halo is good??.. it seems interesting.... I can't seem to play much fantasy anymore.... maybe it's the mosters???...I don't know...

Now.... Back to my RPG Game... buh-bye...

GAHHHH to infinity!!!!

I am so FREAKIN' P****d off for not knowing SHINee would be doing a concert in Sydney.... I'm so cut!!!...T-T!!! *tears* *tears* *cries* *cries*.... -head desk-..... *sniffles* *sniffles* 
Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Taemin-shi!!! m(_ _)m
OH CRUEL WORLD WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME???... AND TO OTHERS!!!!!!.... Lucky ducks who were able to see the concert.... -sigh- -sigh- -sigh- -sigh- -sigh- -sigh-.......
*coughishallcurlupinafarcornercryingfornotbeingabletoattenditcough*

Also... ohh mother nature.. please stop with the RAIN!!!... Enough is enough!!!!


Side note:
My life would be over if the GazettE were to come to Australia and I did not know of it..... MAJOR DEPRESSION!!!!! AND I KID NOT!! YOU HEARD ME RIGHT!!!! 


To all Asian bands:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME TO AUSTRALIA before it's not TOO LATE!!!...  =.="!



(my life would be wasted if I did not achieve what I wanted to do)

What's up 2011!

...............(0 0)
.------oOO-- (_)-----.
╔══════════════╗
║.Happy New Year 2011.║
╚══════════════╝
'----------------------oOO
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.............. || ||
........... ooO Ooo


I'm not good with updating my blog huh?
At least I'm trying..HARHARHAR!!
I'm still on my school break. YAY YAY!!...
I laze around too much.... (no piano practice..d'oh!)
But I get to watch The Big Bang Theory..
Gosh, how awesome is that show!!...
So randomly looking up at youtube...
I feel like making ORIGAMI!!!
It's been so long since I did any.....


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