Visual Kei Sydney First Event – Hajimemashou!

Just wanted to update my blog with what I've been up to. I had so many things to talk about but, I wasn't really bothered to type it up. The greatest event that I ever attended for this year would be Sydney's Jrock/ Visual Kei crew meet-up!! Check the link below to check it out:

Visual Kei Sydney: Visual Kei Sydney first event – Hajimemashou!: Event held On December 8 2012   So, here it is – our very first entry!

Coming back home for Raya!

I'm really psyched that I'm finally going back home, even though it won't be long. Darn application for uni! I was supposed to go to Queensland this July, but mama changed her mind going (since she saw a deal for Singapore trip and couldn't resist the cheap deal!). I really wanted to see my friend who lives in Queensland, but maybe another time. All in all, I'm really excited to finally be able to celebrate Hari Raya with the family, the last time I came back and celebrated that was in 2006. Crazy isn't it? It's hard to go back to Malaysia and celebrate because of the clashing holidays between Australia and Malaysia. Which I reckon is pretty lame!! I'm also ecstatic to get the chance to hang out with my friends there, I'm just hoping we're able to hang out that is!!! Eva-sama and Wicca-chan!!! I'll be there soon~ ♥♥♥♥♥

The end of COLLEGE

Hey blog,
I have been neglecting this site for a while. I'm terribly sorry for that. All I want to say that I officially finish college! You heard me right! 2 years of hard working and stress has finally ended!! The thing is, I was supposed to post this 2 weeks ago, but I got really lazy. Not an excuse isn't it? Yet again, I'm really sorry. How does it feel to finally finish? Pretty overwhelming, and I'm basically bumming around my home watching anime and Jdorama. 

Officially over it?

Holy fudge, I liked you?
It seems like a joke now. I don't feel much now, I guess I'm over it.
There's still the sadness within me, but it will heal. 
Life is full of surprises. I can't help but to laugh at its mystery.
*urgh my elbow still hurts, and now my wrist hurts*
(whoops, inserted random outburst)
Hmm, I guess I would like to say
"Thank You for entering my life, for being my friend, a person I never thought of thinking about and making me understand more about myself that I should take control of." 
I just hope that I won't lose you as my friend.

Summer, you are weird!

It's finally Summer! But what's with this rainy weather we're getting?
What's been happening with me lately? Not much I guess, my group's event we planned for months went well. I am pleased to say we worked our hardest to achieve our goal successfully. And then basically after that finalising documents/reports and last assessments for college (I think I've gone bonkers with the amount of work given). 
Right now, it's holiday break. YAY!! I won't be back for college till 7th February. 
That person, who shall not be named, did not wish me a happy birthday. *sigh* Ah wells~ I expected it, but it's nice to receive a message (that is if they care enough for you to wish a bit ya know?). Whatever, it was such a depressive birthday anyways (it was soo depressive, it rained in the afternoon haha). I am now 19!!! Tash told me I have until my 20th birthday to get my first -chu- (blerrgh, I don't even want to say it). Yeah I soo could find a guy. Just let me sit in the corner in darkness!!! 
What else? I've been pondering more than often. I should really write down some of the points I've thought about lately. One of them is giving up. Meh, don't care about it right now.
A new year is increasingly approaching. I hope that this new year, I will try my best to be positive, optimistic and HAPPY! I need to take good care of myself, especially what's within me. 
"Nothing's gonna change my world"

This is BULLSHIT!

Why do I hate you soo much?:

1. You break promises.

2. You confuse me.

3. I thought you were a nice guy. You have been harsh lately.

4. You're acting different towards me when meeting in person. What happened when we first met?

5. You don't take the first initiative to talk to me first.

6. Why do you not try to talk to me when you're not talking to someone else?

7. Why do I feel that you're trying to get away from me? Did I do something wrong?

8. You had the chance to sit with me.

9. You walked past me as if I wasn't there.

10. You walked-away and didn't for a second thought to hang with me.

11. I thought you were my friend. What kind of friend leave you hanging?

12. You make me sad, disappointed, and angry.

Memang benci kau

Kau ingat kau superstar ke?? Kau ingat kau boleh ambil hati saya??
Sick of this bullshit already.
Benci lelaki ni ish!!
Menyusahkan!!
Menyempah!!!


Why bother anymore? I hate this "game".

1 week to go...

Well dang. There's one week left till I go to the After Party volunteering thing. Am I excited? Sure yeah. Huh this sucks. I don't know what to talk about. Let's see. I'll put it in numbered points:
1. Started playing 21 questions with Gstar (It's amazing how you get to know someone by asking such simple questions)
2. Started taking care of myself "better"
3. I haven't spoken to Aniki in a while. Just received his message, how joyful!! YAY! I miss him oh soo much!!
4. There's 2 weeks left till my group event. Aaarrrgghhhhhhh!!
5. I don't want to wear shitty girly clothes to the after party restaurant thing. But I need to try something new don't I?

It's been 3 years since I last saw you...

She was a delicate fragile person. 
She looked after me when I was a baby and when my mum worked.
She used to tell scary doll story to my cousins and I. 
She had the most sweetest smile.


*cries*


I miss you Arwah Atok (Grandmother).
I knew there was something wrong when we had the Raya webcam chat.
You looked sad. 
Why did you have to leave us so soon?
That time, I had 2 months left before I could visit you.
But you left us too soon.
I really do love you dearly.
I wished you were treated with respect and looked after like a Queen.
You deserved the BEST.


*can't control the stream of tears*


I hope you're happy there.
No pain.
Just pure Laughters and Joyfulness.

RAGE

Welcome back to the Last Term of College.

Everything is going downfall.

My group will have to pick up all the broken pieces and work harder than before.

Stress Stress Stress.

Complications Complications Complications.

3 more weeks till DOOMSDAY! 

7 more weeks till FREEDOM!

41 days till the last year of my Angst TEENAGE YEARS.

You piss me off too.

With your mixed signals.

What are you trying to tell me?

Enough of this childish games.

MAN the FUDGE UP!

I hate you for making me over-think for 3 hours straight. (I might add this again in another post)

I'm sick of the world now.

I hate the way I am.

This shitty word "VULNERABLE".

WEAK

Why am I such a weakling?
I promised myself to go on Hiatus and what did I do?
I cracked!
I had to reply, why? Because I had to.
I felt it would be rude to not reply.
Did I really?
I thought I needed a breather. Well okay, 2 days was enough.
But I challenged myself last time and exceed to 4 days.
Why couldn't I do it this time?
Maybe I should not have watched "10 things I hate about you" at a time like this.
I'm such a loser. 
Is Karma getting back at me?
*sigh*

HIATUS

Finally I've decided to go on HIATUS.
This is a DEFINITE decision.
There's no going back now.
I realised that there are many things that I've yet to accomplish, and not to solely have this social forum site rule my life.
As well as to NOT have this GUY to constantly pop into my head.
I'm sorry Gstar, but I really do need to get back on track.
This addiction? of wanting to talk to you is getting old.
I found it funny that you were on the forum yesterday so many times (6x), were you waiting for me to reply back? 
It doesn't seem like you.
Why do you have to be so freaking cute??!!
Mind you, I still like you.
The little beauty arrived, never realised it was really small.
Right now, I just need a breather.

I bid you a good week my bright shiny STAR. Till we speak again~

INFATUATION

This word got me thinking.
It is "Love of Emotion".
By golly, I just found out what I needed to know.
But then again, I reckon this infatuation somehow triggered towards LOVE.
Hmm, I'm not too sure.
Another thing on my mind: "Love at first sight".
I still don't know what's the explanation for that.
I have a slight idea, but what exactly is it?
Whatever the reason are for my so-called FEELINGS.
I'll just laugh at it.

Leave me alone for a sec.

Sometimes I just wish that life wasn't as hard as it is now.
Everyday is like a new challenge. 

Sometimes I just don't want to be bombarded with other complications and situations.

It makes me reflect my own life and just fudging make me DEPRESS!

I'm going to take it easy.
Singing and listening to music is actually a good way of making me calm.
No stress. No stress.
I can't be bothered with replying now.
I'll take my time when I feel like it. 

Note #10

Slipped at the bath tub,
Hit my knee.
Pain oh pain.
This was 2 hours ago.

Note #9

Scratched arm.

Broken-heart songs.

Late night crying.

Memory flooded in.
Regrets over regrets.

Hmmph, just another day/night for a girl.

Note #8

Need to distract myself somehow. 
Stupid Life. 
Stupid Crush. 
Stupid Reality. 
The truth hurts.


Time to give up now.

I fall badly

I had a conversation on the phone yesterday night with my good buddy who's in Korea right now and she asked me what's happening with me and my crush. I don't think it's going nowhere since I don't know what's going on now, there's mixed signal I can't comprehend with. But I couldn't help it but to laugh at her for asking me about it. She said "Woah, you really are falling hahaha, good job Amy". My friends and their mums (Can you believe that? Hahaha) kept pestering me when I'll get a boyfriend. Well sorrrryyy for being such a loser for not being able to attract the opposite gender!! I am trying really hard to find one ohkay? Urgh! Is there something wrong with me? This is lame! 


Love is such a complicated thing isn't it?


Will this crush be the same as the past ones? Will I fall happily? Will it cause my heart pain again? 


Only fate will know. 

Smile

My mum caught me smiling. 
I didn't realise I was smiling whilst I was reading the post on my phone.
I had to hide any trace of smiles.
It's really hard not to smile.
The messages made my day.


^__^

Note #7

Lines line line 1 line 2 line 3 line 4 line
Scratch scratch scratch......
Smiling Smiling Smiling
Grinning Grinning
Trembling